My date kissed me on the cheek today.
There is nothing I love more than that kind of moment of innocence.

My boss felt the need to talk down to me today.
He won't do it again.

My headshots were re-touched today.
I had to ask them to keep some of my frizzy hair, and the mole on my shoulder bone.

The phonecall from you scared the shit out of me today.
You've been uttering gibberish for days now, and if I could find you, I would hold you so close until you're better.

My thoughts about you (a different you) changed today.
You will never change, you're not capable. I know we're not fair-weather friends, but you keep pummeling me with tidal wave after tidal wave. You have fun holding my head under water but you're not logical enough to realize that you're drowning me.

I thought of you (another different you) endlessly today.
You terrify me. Make me barely able to stand in my heels. But I'm a glutton for terror. The fight or flight response is my best friend. I agape/eros the endorphins you send through me.

I talked to an old lady from New Jersey today.
She found me inspirining, enigmatic, and she wished me luck in my future endeavors (it sounds like I'm going to kayak around the world or something).

A man let me go through the turnstile first, even thouh he had the riht of way today.
I think he was being kind to the hot mess that I was.

I redifined integrity today.
Watch out.

I listened to my roommate scream at her cats today.
Word.

I saw the sadness in your soul today.
Pardon me.

I listened to the static today.
Just an empty image emanating.

I feel the pain between my ribs today.
It's from trying to grasp my breath.

This year is going to be different. You will not tether me.

Cool ways to dispose of your body when you die...

I was reading on the subject of things to do with a dead body (don't ask) and here's the highlights folks, enjoy!

1. You can actually have your body shot out of a cannon when you die.

2. Have your body frozen, and in the future when it's legal, have yourself cloned.

3. For $2,500 you can actually have your ashes sent to Sweden (a company called LifeGem) where they will compress and carbonize your ashes into a diamond. So if you hate someone, just have their ashes made into a diamond, and they will be forver trapped in a ring on your finger! HA!

4. You could go'old school' (seriously like 1800's old school) and prop your body up in the parlor for days while your family invites everyone over while you still smell ok, to pay their respects.

5. You can go 'green' and get a biodegradable casket made of bamboo, or an ecopod (basically recycled paper paper-macheed to your body.
Or if you techically want to be really really green, you can have your body disolved in lye and heated to about 300 degrees F, with 60lbs of pressure applied to each square inch, and in some time turns the body into a brown liquid which is completely sterile.

6. Another green one. You can have your remains mixed with concrete and there are professionals who will put it in the ocean as part of an artificial coral reef.

7. Also for $2,500, you can have your ashes shot into space, so that they burn up in the atmosphere and become part of the carbon cycle (rain, etc..).

and my fave

8. Some artist scientists figured out a way to make your tombstone a giant battery, connect it with your body, and then inject certain bacterii and microbes into your stomach when you die, and as your body decomposes, the bacteria eating it gives off energy, generating electricity, and in a way, becoming life after death. So freaking interesting.

Go to howstuffworks.com. Such a good site.

Freewrite #1

Drenched hair clothed cloths rags in the shower. Tattered. I feel tattered. Tattered is a funny word. Drops of eternal ethereality on my lashes. Eye lashes to clarify. Not lashes as in whip wounds.
As Iraq burns, I sit on my styrafoam bed that isn't mine, it's babysat.
Irrelevance kisses irrelevance. My bed linens are in the dryer, along with my dreams. Thank you for freewrites, and outlets, and unrhythmic beats. Heart beats. I hate actual beets. And cranberries.
My heater is hissing steam. Renee likes cranberrie juice. We know each so well we could scream.
WHAT NOW? The smooth deltoids soften and die in the bag of skin called my arm. Peirced. I can taste touch hear see and smell that word. I love that word. I love words as they fill my esophagus, as they are my sternum. My sternum fills my esophagus.
He said lets run away together to the air force, I said then we could fly! and he said or at least make a steady income - we're so different, but we both have neurotic habits of self mutilation.....but only in the summer can anyone tell. I rake my fingernails down my arms.

Don't look at this for insight. You have no idea how much you mean to me. how much I'm thinking of selling out. how much I would like to throw my shoes at as many corrupt politicians as possible.
My stomach is flat but my breasts are small -ish. You win some you lose some.
I'm sick of climbing uphill and fighting clawing for everything. Grow cajones please don't make me fight for you, just say 'hey, you're awesome' that's all I need.
I'm going to the inaugaration........
This free write is over......I'm so tired.