A Miracle Would Happen

--------Everyone tells you that the minute you get marriedEvery other woman in the worldSuddenly finds you attractiveWell, that's not trueIt only affects the kind of womenYou always wanted to sleeep withBut they wouldn't give you the time of day beforeAnd now they're banging down your doorAnd falling to their kneesAt least that's what it feels like because you
Can
Not
Touch
Them
In fact, you can't even look at them
Close your eyes, close your eyes, close your eyes
Except you're sitting thereEating your corned beef sandwichAnd all of a sudden, this pair of breasts walks byAnd smiles at youAnd you're like
That's not fair
And in a perfect worldA miracle would happenAnd every other girl would fly awayAnd it'd be me and you and nothing else would matterBut it's fine, it's fine, it's fineI mean, I'm happyAnd I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine
It's not a problemIt's just a challengeIt's a challenge to resist
Temptation
And I have to say thatWhat exacerbates the problemIs I'm at these partiesI'm the center of attentionI'm the grand fromageAnd here she comes:"Let's get a cup of coffee.Will you look at my manuscript?"And I'm showing her my left handI'm gesticulating with my left handAnd then WHOOMP! There's Cathy!'Cause she knows(They always know)And there's that really awkward momentWhere I try to show I wasn't encouraging this
(Though of course I sort of was)
And I don't want to look whipped in front of this womanWhich is dumb - I shouldn't care what she thinksSince I can't fuck her anyway.And in a perfect worldA miracle would happenAnd every girl would look like Mister EdAnd it'd be me and CathyAnd nothing else would matterBut it's fine, it's fine, it's fineYou know I love herAnd it's fine, it's fine, it's fine
It's what I wanted
And I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine!It's not a problemIt's just a challengeIt's a challenge to resist
Temptation
I'll be there soon, babyI'll finish up this chapter and be out the doorI swear I'll be there soon, CathyDon't give up on me yetI am so proud of you, babyYou're doing what you never got to do beforeAnd I will be there, ripe and crawlingIf fuckin' Random House stops callingDon't lose faithDon't get downDon't despairI'll be thereAnd in a perfect worldA miracle would happenAnd that day would finally be hereAnd it'd be me and youRiding it togetherAnd the things we doGoin' like we plannedWe're gonna make it throughAnd nothing else will matterWe'll be fine, we're fineWe're fine, we're fine, we're fineI'll be there soon, baby...
I swear I will-------------

Sigh. Thank God for JRB.